"The house began to pitch....."

Sunday night was not an atypical night at the Lee house. Gene was grillling some chicken. The girls were playing outside. Deb was working on cooking some side dishes. The sky was blue and the temperature was just about perfect. Gene and the girls came inside, washed up and sat at the table for dinner. That's when everything changed. We were just starting to eat when Gene noted with some concern, that the sky was getting very dark, very fast. Suddenly we heard a roar of wind, that sound like a giant wave crashing, roaring in our direction. The tall row of pines in our back yard were suddenly bent over horizontal. It just isn't normal to see horizontal trees. The girls playhouse burst apart. Toys were literally flying through the air. Our plastic picnic table had it's legs pulled off. And yes, I know what you are all thinking, I saw the wicked witch of the east riding off into the storm on Hannahs pink bike with streamers :)
I told the kids to go into the basement. I thought this was it. We were going to see Oz. Then the wind ended just as quickly as it began. Gene looked out the window and saw a 70 foot tree laying in our yard. It had blown over from the neighbors yard. Yes, a seventy foot tree flew across a street and into our yard. It was laying across the electrical lines so I quickly called the police. Amazingly we still had power. But within minutes the police, fire and electrical companies showed up and our electric was manually shut off (it turns out that our electric runs down the other side of our house). Our neighbors, on the other hand, were screwed.
The sky was still very dark and now our house was too. We lit candles, found flashlights and kept a close eye on the emergency crew.
About an hour after the storm the sun re-emerged. It was a bright sunny evening. One might even say beautiful if our neighborhood wasn't strewn with Mother Nature's wrath. Suddenly, just like in the Wizard of Oz after the house landed on the Wicked Witch of the East and the munchkins were beckoned outside, all the neighbors started to emerge from their houses.
The Policeman was less than pleased as everyone came by to "admire" the fallen pine. Electrical Wires were strewn through the neighborhood trees like streamers at a child's birthday party and yet curiousity got the better of people as they climbed over the wires to get a better view. Do you remember what curiousity did to the cat?
The police eventually shooed everyone away and the electric and cable companies worked well into the night to make things right again. Around 9:00 we had power again although it was difficult to get the kids to sleep with all the noise and lights going on outside. In the morning everyone was gone, the electric company, the cable company, the telephone company, and the police. There was a baracade on the road to keep anyone from driving through but there was no one around to fix anything. And, there was a huge tree still in our yard. It turned out that my neighbors were still without power. Yet the morning went by without any sign of an emergency vehicle. We felt forgotten. Eventually, the electric company was hassled to come out and reconnect my neighbor. The telephone company came and fixed the broken telephone poles. The cable company came and fixed the broken cable lines. But, there was still a huge tree in our yard! We were trying to figure out what to do about the tree. I was hearing all sorts of conflicting reports. If a tree flies into your yard from your neighbors yard who is responsible for removing said tree? On Monday afternoon I spoke to my neighbor and asked her - "what should we do?" She couldn't give me an answer. That night as I was putting the kids to bed there was a knock at the door and my neighbors husband, who happens to work for a tree company was there offering to clean up the mess when he could get the right truck from work.
"It might take a couple weeks" he said. "Well," I said, "the tree isn't going anywhere." We were appreciative of his offer. Then this morning (tuesday) I heard a truck outside. I looked and noticed it was not one of the familiar electric, cable, or telephone trucks I had become accustomed to seeing. It was a Department of Public Works (DPW) truck and they were cleaning up the branches and debris that was on the road. I ran outside and asked if they were going to clean up the tree in our yard. "Sorry ma'am, we aren't allowed to do that. It has to be on town property." "What if I pulled it out in the street?" I asked. They looked at the huge tree and laughed. I felt defeated. I was wishing I was younger and sexier. But since I wasn't I tried a different strategy "How about a case of beer?" I asked. "You guys like beer?" They laughed again. "Ma'am, we can't take anything from you. We can't do it." "How about two cases of beer?" I upped the ante. No takers. They smiled and I walked away with my tail between my legs. They huddled together and whispered. "Ma'am!" they yelled after me, "we'll do it!" "Really?" I asked. How did that happen? Maybe I still have some feminine wiles after all. Or maybe I made some unappreciated, exhausted guys laugh. After they cleaned up the tree I went up with some money and offered it to them for lunch. They refused. "If you want to do something write a letter to town hall about how helpful we were." they said, "they keep cutting the Public Works budget," said the three currently employed men. I could tell that they wanted to stay employed. Who doesn't? I could do that for them. You scratch my back, and I'll help you keep your job. A worthwhile strategy I must say.

The tree is gone. My neighbor showed up this evening with his big chipper truck. He couldn't believe I got the DPW to clean the tree up. "Wow." he said with disbelief, "How did you get them to do that?" He was impressed.

He and Gene used the chipper to clean up the rest of the debris in the yard. It amazes me how quickly things got back to normal. We have electricty, cable, phone, a clean yard, and there is one less tree in the world.

There's no place like home.